Privacy Policy
A legal disclaimer
Privacy Policy
Last updated: When we remembered
Let’s be real: you’re not going to read this. We know it. You know it. But some lawyer (or robot) said we needed one, so here it is — the Privacy Policy for The Alt Angle, where your data is treated with the same irreverence as the news we cover.
👀 What We Collect
We might collect a tiny smidge of data, such as:
-
Your IP address (no, we’re not stalking you… unless you’re into that)
-
Cookies (not the delicious kind — the tracking kind)
-
Anything you willingly enter into our site (like your email when you sign up for our spicy newsletter)
We promise not to collect your soul. Yet.
📦 What We Do With It
-
We use your info to make our website work better.
-
We might send you emails, but only the good kind — no Nigerian prince nonsense.
-
We will never sell your info to shady people in trench coats. That’s just rude.
🍪 Cookies
Yep, we use them. Not to fatten you up, but to remember stuff like what you clicked on last time. You can disable cookies in your browser, but then the site might act drunk and forget everything.
🔒 Is Your Info Safe?
We use "reasonable security measures", which is legal speak for:
“We’ve locked the digital door and checked the windows, but if hackers really want in, they’re gonna get in.”
So, you know... fingers crossed.
🙅♀️ Sharing is Not Caring
We don’t share your data unless:
-
You say we can
-
The government shows up with a warrant
-
It’s funny and anonymous (kidding… mostly)
👶 Kids
This site isn’t made for kids under 13. If your child somehow ends up here, please question your parenting and move along.
🧾 Changes to This Policy
We might update this when we feel like it. If we do, we’ll quietly tweak the text and hope you never notice. Classic.
💌 Contact Us
Have questions? Email us at totallyreal@thealtangle.com. We'll probably ignore you — unless you're really charming.
Thanks for visiting The Alt Angle. We may mess with the news, but we don’t mess with your privacy. Much. 😉